Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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