Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
