I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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