I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
