I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
