What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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