you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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