i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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