Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize