you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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