I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
