I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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