you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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