Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dicks are not precious.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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