How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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