the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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