god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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