PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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