Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
