Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
