If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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