i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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