I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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