ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.