hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls