JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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