So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
