Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
