yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
