You work out of a Hotel?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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