I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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