how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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