i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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