I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
my liver is dry heaving
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
