i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
