My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
