It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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