I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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