now i know why i became what i already was.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
