so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
