haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
