just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
