Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ladies don't puke and tell
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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