i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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