I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
