Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
