you will always have a special place in my vag
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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