FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
