Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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