I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
