By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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