i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize