just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
