is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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