can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
