If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
