Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
