as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
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I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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