If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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