I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
