I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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