My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
organizing the empties. That sober.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Drunk is not a location!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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