So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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