Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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