People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
