Already got asked if we're dating
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ok first of all what the fuck
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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