***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
