at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize