So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
