But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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