Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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