my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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