only if we run a train.
done.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
